Prime Minister Tony Blair today went live on national television to warn the British people that hed just done a monster dump in the Downing Street toilet.
That was a real dive-bomber, he told an expectant nation, and the skids go right the way round the bend.
Accordingly, the electorate should think very hard indeed before contemplating using the bathroom themselves:
You might want to use the loo downstairs or something. Its dead ripe in there, he told a roomful of journalists at a subsequent press conference.
Moreover, Blair expressed his fear that the worse was yet to come, when he said, theres a strong possibility that it may turn out to be a floater.
Sources close to Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, expressed their disquiet at the Prime Ministers course of action: He always does this when hes had a curry. I know he cant really help it, but, I mean, really And you can tell hes secretly quite proud of producing such an enormous turd, they said, adding, Of course, Gordon does much bigger shits when hes had a bit of All-Bran, but he doesnt make such a big deal about it.