Gopsi recording sessions 2

The story so far...

Here is the complete description of where we're up to with the latest recordings. I'll go through each song in turn, with a link in each one to download the mp3. I've zipped all of the recordings I've got as Audacity Projects - (Zack, I'm assuming you can read these?), which you can download here: Projects.rar (78 Mb).
So anyway, all of these are 'demos' unless we can't be bothered to do anything else with them.

There Was A Man II (Last of the Summer Shags)
This song was sent to me by Zack prior to the session. twamwhas.mp3

There was a man
Who had a shag
He did it with
A plastic bag
He greased it up
And in he poked
His shopping got quite soaked

There was a man
Who had a shag
He did it with
A rocky crag
He stuck it in
But hit a snag
And that was his last shag

There was a man
Who had a shag
With molten slag
Exactly like the previous man
That was his last shag

(Spoken interlude...might do somthing else here...)

Lots of men
Had lots of shags
But generally
Not with bags
And not with slag
And not with crags
And also not with donkeys

Singing Without Vowels (or, properly, "Sngng Wtht Vwls").

Singing without vowels
Is a strain so great that I can hardly speak
I am told that vocally it's poor technique
And I end up sounding something of a freak

Can't have conversations
And a game of Scrabble lasts about a week
At the moment we are on a losing streak
For no dictionary holds the words we seek

Oh some say our means of talking
Is a little bit oblique
And the language that we're using
May as well be Ancient Greek
But we love to get together
In a hut in Mozambique
And talk only using consonants
In our cosy little clique

Singing without vowels
Is a strain so great that we can only squeak
The alternatives are also rather bleak
So we'll carry on like this, cheek to cheek

This of course lead me on to write:
Singing Without Consonants

Singing without consonants
isn't hard to do
But without all those useful letters
meanings go askew

There's no understanding what you say
or the meanings underneath
Though it's good fun for anyone whose
Missing all their teeth

You get the idea of this one
I think I've made my point
I'm going to stop now
Because my jaw is aching

The Ballad of Irene T B NG

This was sent to me by Ian before the session. We assumed it's to the tune of "Sympathy for the devil", but managed to record nothing other than David's piss-poor attempt at the bass line: Irene-base.mp3
Hopefully we can do more on this at Zacks. Tim's going to practice the piano bit.

Please allow me to introduce myself,
I was a woman of wealth and taste.
I was born [deep breath] Irene
but I let all my life go to waste.


I went to the finest schools,
But spent my days drinking whisky and gin,
My friends were all such fools,
And the headmistress she called me in.
She said "your name is just too long.
You'll be [slightly less deep breath] Irene
It was easier to label my gym slip and thong,
So I no longer got confused with my friend Joanna Lumley.


After school I went on to college,
But I fell in with a bad scene.
Instead of devoting myself to learning and knowledge,
I went out with a singer who was bitter and mean.
He said "I cant be bothered to sing your whole name,
I'll call you Irene Tomlinsonbingham,
My songs will make me my money and fame,
But I change girls names to make it easier to sing'em.


I had a problem of enuresis,
So in bed I would micturate.
Then my boyfriend formed a band called 'Oasis',
And I was out of the picture. Eight
Months later I signed onto the dole
But there weren't enough little squares that I could see,
So I wrote "IRENE T BINGHAM", leaving a hole,
In the middle of what my name should be.


But I got weaker and weaker and my strength it is fading,
My life is a sad thing,
Through the rivers of tears I am wading.
Now I am only IRENE T B NG
And I sit here waiting,
Here in my house on Central Drive

Repeat chorus until die of brain failure.

More from Ian
We didn't do anything with this lot....

"I also had an idea for a Ballad of Timothy and Lijun (to the tune
of the Ballad of John and Yoko, but with places and events adapted
to their lives, but haven't written it yet. And the start of a song
about Arnold Barton to the tune of the German national anthem.

And the other day I had pickled onion monster munch for the first
time in about 10 years, and now I can't stop singing ( to the tune
of "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll by Ian Drury and the
Blockheads ):

Pickled Onion Monster Munch
Are all my mind and body need
Pickled onion Monster Munch
And Skips.

It also works with "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick", so maybe there's
scope for a Megamix (multipack?):

Pickled Onion Monster Munch
Twiglets! Chipstix!
Pickled Onion Monster Munch
Quavers! Twiglets! And Skips!

Maybe I've just been away from the Land of KP too long"

The Axolotl Song

This is a song I wrote quite a while ago, and recording this demo. The vocals are far too quiet and I fucked up the chords at the end, but you get the idea.

This is the story of an Axolotl
He would have made it but he lost his bottle

He pondered secrets of the Universe
He decided that he could do worse

Than to spend his days in a glass tank
Eating any worm that walked the plank

Axolotl - he lives above a cupboard labeled "Mr Jones"
Axolotl - his tank we're not sure if he rents or he owns

His name is Aristotle
Because it rhymes with Axolotl

He spends his days watching pupils
COuld kill them all but he has his scruples

He knows a lot about biology
But his best subject is you and me

Axolotl - he lives above a cupboard labeled "Mr Jones"
Axolotl - his tank we're not sure if he rents or he owns

And that's the tale of our aqueous hero
The greatest thinker since year zero

An overgrown four legged newt
If you were blind, you might call him cute

But there's one secret left for you
He's not one axolotl but two!

Axolotl - he lives above a cupboard labeled "Mr Jones"
Axolotl - his tank we're not sure if he rents or he owns

Axolotl - he lives above a cupboard labeled "Mr Jones"
Axolotl - his tank we're not sure if he rents or he owns

Rents or owns!

Sliding loopy (history of the pole)

Sliding loopy nuts Are we
Them and us and him and Me
You should see what we can do
With a pole that's black but used to be blue

It was red but, first blue
and splaterred with a turquiose hue

Sliding loopy nuts Are we
We're all sliding loopy

It also includes the text about the pole from the encyclopedia (this bit).
I haven't decided if it would be better to record "Sliding loopy" as a separate complete song, and have David's speech as part of ambient dance track....
As you can see, my editing is even worse than my singing...

It took quite some time to get the voice recorded without one or more of us laughing - so I also put together the outtakes: sliding-outtakes.mp3

History / Maths lessons

We recorded the History and Maths lessons from the encyclopedia, each taking appropriate parts.

The Popular song from the encyclopedia: popular.mp3

David and I recorded this beat track. Doubt we'll use it for anything: beat.mp3 - although it is better without the guitar: beat2.mp3
Timothy and I put our beatboxing skills to the test. I hope we won't use this for anything: beatboxing.mp3

Self explanatory 'song' called Pain: pain.mp3
(Written by: Stephen, Vocals: David & Stephen, Keyboards and Guitar: Stephen)

Only a Gopsi song
This was written by Timothy and David, but we didn't get a chance to record it:
We're not under contract to Gopsi
But we've promised we'll find something to sing
It's only a Gopsi song,
G                              D
Oh fuck it we can't think of a rhyme

The tune is not original,
And neither are the words,
But that doesn't really bother us,
G                            D
At least we have a rhyme for turd.

But we don't care,
We don't care
           G  Em
Cos we're gop-si
    C                    B7          Em
And playing solitaire is more fun anyway