Hundreds killed in Labour landslide

A Labour landslide in yesterdays election caused the death of hundreds of citizens late last night. As the votes poured in, thousands more feared for their lives as Labour gained seat after seat after seat.

"I was terrified", sobbed one woman from South London home, "I only just managed to get out of the house in time, or I'd have been killed for sure". Dozens of people along her street were crushed to death as thousands of tons of rhetoric and pointless bureaucracy came crashing down to earth, burying them alive.

Baroness Thatcher spoke to journalists shortly afterwards about her dissapointment in the British public. "I warned them about the dangers of a labour landslide, but did they listen? No, they all voted labour and now look at them."

As the death toll continues to rise, many people believe this tragedy could easily have been avoided.
"I live in a marginal consistuency", spoke John Hull from Cambridge. "If only I'd not voted tactfully, the vote would have been split and the conservatives would have got in. Then maybe I wouldn't have woken up this morning to find my two daughters and the family dog crushed to death in the back room."

Scientists have warned the public that the same could happen again in as little as four years time. As Prof. Watson from the University of Kent explained:
"If over the next few years we continue to enjoy the economic stability we've had over this previous term of government, people's confidence in Labour could remain high, causing yet another repeat of this sad tradegy."