Davies wins Bad Snooker World Championship

World Champion Zack Davies takes home the "Dead Mouse" trophy for the 25th consecutive year, after beating David Edgar in the Grand Final at Ispog.

Despite getting off to a very poor start - clipping a red to send the cue ball to land in a snooker behind the brown while leaving the reds intact - Davies showed no signs of letting the title slip away during the stunning three hour final.

Edgar clearly thought he had Davies on the run after potting the yellow with the brown ball, but Davies responded magnificently by hitting the black with a golf club, sending it hurtling towards the horizon.

Some magnificent shots by Edgar, including spraying the table with yoghurt, replacing the pink ball with a funny black globe, and (much to the delight of the crowd) using his penis as a cue, clearly displayed his worthiness of a place in the final, but he was comprehensively outperformed by the reigning world champion.

"There were a couple of times I thought I had him", lamented Edgar, "Such as the time I hid the table from him, but only to find he had another in his pocket. He just outclassed me on every shot."

Davies showed he was still capable of using some of the basic strategies of the game - potting the wrong ball, missing easy pots etc, but had clearly saved some tricks for the final, including vomiting on the pink, setting fire to the table legs and parachuting from 10,000 feet to land on the blue.

The coup de grace came in the 9th frame when Davies, with only the black to pot in a direct line with the pocket, put the cue ball in his mouth and spat it at the table, leaving it to rebound off and knock the umpire unconscious.